I hate to be the one to also break it to you -as a leader you have to accept that you will work with both a Judas and a Peter. As a matter of fact, a leader must endure betrayal not only from an enemy but from a close friend.
Betrayal is as inevitable as the sun that rises in the east -it is the price you will pay for leadership. Nonetheless, one should not become paranoid wondering, “who in my inner circle is scheming with my enemies to thrust the blade of Brutus through my chest? ”
5 Challenges To Consider and Overcome When you are Betrayed
#1. Don’t let it destroy your trust in others
Because it’s so hard to go on trusting again -after a suffered betrayal. Something valuable that I have learned: never treat those who are for you, the same as those who are against you.
Someone ones said, “betrayal is a deep psychic wound that hardens the heart against grief and deadens its hunger for intimacy.”
When you are betrayed (and you will if you have not already) don’t allow the pain of betrayal to destroy you or ruin your relationships with others loyal people.
#2. Choose to forgive your offender and do it quickly
It becomes easier to forgive when you realise that your unforgiveness or hatred affects you more than the actual betrayal.
Forgiveness without God’s intervention in your heart is impossible.
#3. Reject the self-incrimination
Once a betrayal occurs, it is nearly impossible to escape the self-doubt, “Why didn’t I see this coming?”, “What could I have done to avoid this?”, “Am I as bad as that person says I am?”
I’ve learned and accepted not to question individuals who chose to exist in my life like Judas -there is always a reason for them leaving.
After a betrayal -self-introspection is important for a leader but not self-condemnation.
#4. Don’t stop risking
It doesn’t matter if one out of the twelve betrayed you; remember, eleven still believe in you and support your mission.
It’s important to proceed with caution but be aware that you don’t allow that ‘caution’ to immobilize you.
#5. Keep your words few and your friends, fewer
I always believed, if you have many friends, you don’t have any.
Friendship is expensive. Choose your inner circle wisely and protect the gift of friendship.